It takes a church…in a time of loss: Carla Monroe

Just under three years ago our church lost Scott Monroe, but our collective loss was nothing compared to what the Monroe family experienced themselves. It taught all of us a great deal about the earthly side of death—a side very different from the heavenly side of it that Scott joyfully experienced in a brilliant moment. As a church we are still learning how to come alongside those who have faced trials and tragedies very different from our own, but this is what Christian love and compassion call us to do. In this note from Carla, she shares something of the way the church has entered into her suffering these last several years. We hope it is both encouraging and challenging for you.

Daniel

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It takes a church...in a time of loss

By Carla Monroe

I am grateful for our church. You are individuals and families who have prayed for us and included me and my children in your lives over the past two and a half years since my husband’s death.

Singleness may come in a moment, but marriage dies slowly. We were married 21 years. It took me more than a year to grow comfortable with widow. Today I think of myself as single and Mom.

I am always aware of my children’s need for their Dad’s example and instruction. No one can replace him. And yet, God has not left them without help. Thank you to the Dads who include my children with their own on adventures and projects and book studies. Thank you to the men who arranged with our town for my sons to play football, basketball, and baseball on the same teams with their sons—this is more fun for us, but it also makes transportation possible where otherwise impossible. My children will catch manhood by your example and instruction.

My favorite dinner conversations include theology and politics. According to my daughter, elections are my Super Bowl (Not true! I watch every time the Redskins go to the Super Bowl). We usually start dinner attempting thoughtful conversation, but with a table full of teenagers we skitter quickly toward the inane. I agree, it beats conflict! At the same time, it falls short of interesting exchange. Thank you to friends who include me for adult conversation. This usually looks like coffee or a meal. Thank you for overcoming comfort-hurdles of you own. I am aware that I no longer bring a man to balance conversation. Thank you to the men who, at times, walk the entire evening as the only guy. (You know who you are.)

Since my first day of singleness, you have cared for us with super-human heroics—better, spirit-led heroics.

Just as "married and parents" is a many sided jewel, so is "single and Mom." We miss my husband, their Dad. Still, there is so much good! And there is significant need. God equips me and provides through others. Thank you for including my children with yours. Thank you for sharing life with me and mine.