A New Child Member Policy at Cornerstone

A year ago we let you know that we would be exploring a new policy regarding children and church membership at Cornerstone. Many of you responded to our ideas and proposals with excellent feedback we seriously considered. It has all shaped the thinking of the elders and the policy we will implement. Thank you for caring about such an important topic and being willing to engage us about it. 

The new policy is that when the child of a participating member of Cornerstone is baptized, he automatically becomes a member of Cornerstone, too. Let's think through this. 

Our basic reason for changing our policy is to help our families and our children have more clarity about the spiritual standing of our children in the church and with the gospel. 

Faith then Baptism then Church Membership 

For some of you, calling a baptized child a "member" might not feel like a big change. You might be saying, “Of course our children are part of the church! They've always been.” And there’s some truth to that. We are a church where family is a high priority, and the life of our church makes that very clear. Children occupy a big part of our ministry time and energy and emphasis as a church.

But calling someone a “member” is saying something more than we’re committed to them and will dedicate ministry energy to them (like we do with our youngest participants on a Sunday). Calling someone a “member” of Cornerstone is saying the person (to the best of our knowledge) is also a “member of the body of Christ,” the spiritual body of Christ made of Christ and those who are united to him (1 Cor 12:13, 27). That's a significant statement.

For sure, only God knows those who are truly his, but the New Testament assumes at a basic level we can also determine who is and who is not a member of the body of Christ (Rom 12:3–8). We're not omniscient, but the Bible assumes we can know when a person has come to faith in Christ and is walking according to that faith (Phil 4:3). The church and local churches are tasked with identifying those who are Christ’s. We do this based on a profession of faith and a lifestyle consistent with that profession (1 Thess 1:4–5). Romans 10:9 says, “If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.” Our inward belief is expressed by our outward confession; there is no true confession that does not spring from inward belief. 

We see in the New Testament that those who profess faith in Christ are then to be baptized (Matt 28:18–20; Acts 2:37–38). And then they are to join Christ's church as they're able (Acts 2:41). We don't get details on any kind of process for joining a church in the New Testament, but that progression of faith—baptism—joining with the believers in their proximity happens throughout the book of Acts. Once believers are part of a church body, they take the Lord's Supper (Acts 2:42; 1 Cor 10:16–17) and engage in the whole array of privileges and responsibilities that go along with church membership. 

We believe all this means a church should have only baptized Christians on its member roll, and Christians should find a New Testament church to join after they're converted.

But what about children? 

Children and the Church

The New Testament places no minimum age on conversion, baptism, the Lord’s Supper or church membership. Yet, it is implied that for a person to take these steps, he or she has sufficient understanding and mental ability to respond to the offer of the gospel (Rom 10:9), take the Lord’s Supper appropriately (1 Cor 11:29), and possess the faith that is to accompany baptism (Col 2:11–12). Thus, a basic understanding is required for a person to mark their profession of faith with baptism and then joining a church—not a minimum age, but a sufficient understanding.

One uniqueness with children, however, is the relationship they have to their parents. The Bible calls them to submit to their parents “in everything” (Col 3:17). Such submission means a child’s membership in the church is something different from an adult who is not under a parent’s authority in such a comprehensive way. The child’s membership in the church is actually connected to and part of their submission to her parents’ membership in the church (at least, for children of adult members in the church). 

We believe the parent-child relationship needs to be a factor when we consider child members at Cornerstone. We don't want to treat a child as if he's an adult, just like we don't want to treat an adult like he's a child. 

The New Policy

Based on the above, beginning with our Family Meeting in September 2026, we will begin a new policy regarding baptized children of members in our church. To see the difference, here’s our former policy and our new policy:

• Former Policy: Minor children of members all had the same status of “Child of Member,” regardless of whether they had expressed faith or been baptized. Membership was only for adults, even though our practice of baptism allowed for baptisms at any age, provided there was a sincere profession of faith. Upon reaching adulthood, a child could then become a member. Children were participants in church but not explicitly members.
• New Policy: When a (minor) child of an active member in the church is baptized, we will also consider that child to be a member in the church. No separate process will be required. Children of non-members who get baptized will need to be determined on a case-by-case basis how best to regard them, out of respect to the parents and an awareness of their authority.

In terms of labels, we will typically call both child members and adult members simply “members” of the church. But there will also be situations where we make a distinction between them. For instance, a meeting might be for “adult members” of the church only, depending on the topic discussed. 

Meaningful Membership

For the membership of a child to be meaningful to him, we will need to find a way to communicate to him what it means. We understand that church membership for a minor and for an adult is different in certain respects—something different is being asked of a child from what we ask of an adult. 

With children who are already baptized, we will be holding a class this fall or winter to go over what membership in a church means. 

For children who get baptized in the future, we added a chapter to our Believe and Be Baptized book that goes over church membership at a basic level. 

We state in our membership material (and Member Handbook), that our expectations for (adult) members include the following: 

1. Regularly attend Sunday morning worship;
2. Actively participate in our home group ministry;
3. Serve on a ministry team;
4. Support the church financially; and
5. Submit to the leadership of the elders

While a child member can do these same things, she does them in the dependent way of a child and not the independent way of an adult. For instance, supporting the church “financially” looks very different when you make $1000 a year as a teen instead of a normal living wage as an adult or married couple. Not all ministry teams at Cornerstone are open to children. 

So, we feel it is important to mark the change from childhood to adulthood in our membership process. 

When a Child Member Becomes an Adult

With our new policy, when a child member becomes an adult (basically a high school graduate or 18 years old), she must choose to continue her membership as an adult. As before, this will require attending our Exploring Membership class and talking with one of the pastors. 

A child may decide not to join Cornerstone, perhaps due to a move or attending another church. When that is the case, the young adult would go from being a “member” to being a “non-member.” It’s possible such a change will require some further action on the part of the elders, since it is normative for a Christian to be active in a church.

Child Members and Formal Church Discipline

Another practical side of the child’s relationship to his parents has to do with church discipline. Whenever there is a need for “formal church discipline,” we expect the elders to work in conjunction with the parents (see our Member Handbook for more on church discipline). 

Going Forward

This new policy becomes effective with the 2026 September Family Meeting. It will take us a little while to identify minors in the church who have been baptized, and we will consider a way to communicate to them what it means to be a member in a way they can understand. 

Thank you,

The elders of Cornerstone