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“If you’re able, please stand....” Reading Matt. 6:7–15. “...Thanks be to God.”
Corrie ten Boom from Guideposts, November, 1972: “It was in a church in Munich that I saw him...”[1]
The text this morning: Matthew 6:14–15. Connected to the Lord’s Prayer. But we decided to separate it.
Why did we separate this from the Lord’s Prayer? Because of the way that unforgiveness can destroy you and ruin relationships.
Now, your sins against others can ruin relationships. The culprit at times is you.
But for this sermon we want to think about the cancer of unforgiveness.
This week I was at lunch with a Christian brother. We were reflecting on a mutual friend whose life was in many ways ruined by unforgiveness. For both of us, he stands as a cautionary tale.
He was a man others looked to as an example of strength, godliness, and integrity.
And then some things in his life didn’t go the way he wanted. And he was consumed by bitterness about it. Ultimately the price he paid brought an end to his livelihood, his marriage, relationships with his children, decades of Christian friendships.
At times we give ourselves to unforgiveness, because we think that this is a way to really hurt someone. But ultimately, the person we’re destroying with unforgiveness is ourselves.
Persistent unforgiveness is often a mixture of righteous anger and sinful bitterness. The righteous anger is often because someone truly has sinned against us—or at least failed us in a painful way.
But the little bit of righteous anger that’s in the mix is like a sugar-coating on a poison pill. It tastes good, so we’re blind to the fact that it’s a poison pill. Eventually the sinful bitterness takes over and destroys us and ruins a whole series of relationships.
Unforgiveness is a cancer, and like all cancers it metastasizes. It eventually spreads and it consumes us.
The goal of today’s sermon is to FORGIVE BECAUSE GOD HAS FORGIVEN YOU.
The Series: Living in the Kingdom. Those in the Kingdom are forgiven. And therefore they can be forgiving.
The Sermon: The Radical Call to Forgive Others: (1) The condition of our forgiving others; (2) The calling of our forgiving others; (3) The complexity of our forgiving others.
Prayer
Read Matt. 6:14–15.
These words follow on the heels of the Lord’s Prayer. Martyn Lloyd-Jones refers to this prayer as “the Child’s Prayer,” because it is the prayer of a child of God praying to his heavenly Father.
In the Child’s Prayer, Jesus told us to pray,
Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. (Matt 6:12)
Now, we should notice for a moment that it’s not obvious why we should even pray such a prayer.
The basis for our forgiveness of sins is the blood of Christ. At the Lord’s Supper the night before Jesus was crucified, he lifted up the cup of wine, gave it to the disciples, and then said,
This is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins. (Matt 26:28)
Jesus’ “blood of the covenant” results in “the forgiveness of sins.” If we have trusted in Christ as our Lord and Savior, then his blood brings to us “the forgiveness of sins.”
If we have not trusted in Christ as our Lord and Savior, then WE HAVE NO FORGIVENESS OF SINS. As Jesus told the Pharisees:
“I told you that you would die in your sins, for unless you believe that I am he you will die in your sins.” (John 8:24)
If you “die in your sins,” you die anticipating God’s unending wrath and judgment for those sins.
But if Christ is our Lord and Savior, then his “blood of the covenant” covers our sins completely—all of them. Forever.
All of our sins are forgiven the moment we become a Christian, and this never becomes untrue.
The heroic failures of sin. And also the small sins we don’t even notice or remember:
• Murder.
• Adultery.
• Stealing.
• Fraud.
• Lying.
• Deception.
• Yelling at your parents.
• Cheating on a 3rd-grade math test.
• Coveting your neighbor’s car or house or bank account.
All of these sins are forgiven the moment we become a Christian: past, present, and future.
So, when Jesus says we should pray, “forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors,” that’s unexpected.
Jesus is telling us to pray that God would forgive debts that have already been forgiven in Christ.
But why? Why would we do this? This is God’s love in action. He’s helping us.
One way confession helps us is that it helps us in our battle against sin. When we sin it plagues our conscience. It weighs on us. Confession helps relieve our conscience.
Confession our sins to God also restores our relationship with God. Sinning against God affects our relationship with God. As a Christian our sins don’t affect our salvation, our objective standing with God.
But sin affects our communion with him. Confession is a way to restore that communion.
And then confession helps us to overcome sin. It helps us to put sins to death.
We hear that in 1 John 1:9,
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9)
So, Jesus teaches us to pray, “forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.”
But notice that two parts of this sentence: “Forgive us our debts, AS WE ALSO HAVE forgiven our debtors.”
The wording of the petition is assuming that we have “forgiven our debtors.”
The prayer is assuming we are people who forgive, that God has changed us in this area. We are no longer those who hate others and walk in bitterness. Now we can and do forgive others.
Remember the end of Jesus’ sermon! We’ve looked at the end of Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount a few times. Let’s look again at his words about being healthy trees:
So, every healthy tree bears good fruit, but the diseased tree bears bad fruit. 18 A healthy tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a diseased tree bear good fruit. (Matt 7:17–18)
Forgiveness is “good fruit” that comes from a “healthy tree.” Unforgiveness is “bad fruit” that comes from a “diseased tree.”
As “healthy trees” who have been changed by the Spirit of God, we forgive others. We are God’s children.
And so we pray, “forgive us our debts,” knowing that he has and will.
So, that’s the Lord’s Prayer.
But then of all the petitions Jesus gave to us, the one where he adds extra explanation is the one about forgiveness.
Read Matt. 6:14–15.
The fact Jesus elaborates on this part of his prayer tells us that forgiveness is no small thing.
Here we see just how significant it is.
The words of these verses are jarring. They jump out as an absolute condition. They seem to be saying that our standing before God is dependent upon our ability to forgive others. If we won’t forgive others, then we will not be saved.
This is a place where we need to remember the principle that “Scripture interprets Scripture.” We don’t interpret passages as if they stand alone. Otherwise, we’ll distort their meaning.
Now, we know that our eternal forgiveness is a matter of grace. We’re forgiven of all our sins because of the blood of Christ. We receive the benefits of the blood of Christ through faith.
But these verses are clearly teaching us that there’s a connection between our forgiving others now and God’s forgiveness of us in the future. That future forgiveness makes sense if it’s the day of judgment, the Last Day.
The best way to understand these verses is to see that how forgiving we are shows whether we belong to God or not. If we are God’s people, we will be those who forgive others now. If we aren’t God’s people, we will be unforgiving now.
CAVEAT: Change is a process! So, we will grow in how forgiving we are. At first, maybe we’re in the “Forgive like sloths” category. But over time, we’re quicker to forgive.
And maybe the change is that we are convicted to grow in being forgiven. We’re working at it.
The key takeaway is that God’s forgiveness in our justification goes first. Our forgiveness of others shows that we have received it. And if we have received God’s forgiveness in our justification, then we will receive his forgiveness on the last day.
Klyne Snodgrass reflects on this parable and writes,
The indicative of God's forgiveness precedes the imperative of our response....The ethic is a responsive ethic, a response to God's grace and calling.
Klyne Snodgrass, Stories with Intent[2]
So, in some ways the condition works in both directions in these verses:
Matt 6:14 paraphrase:
If we forgive others now, then God will forgive us on the last day.
If God will forgive us on the last day, then we will forgive others now.
Now we want to think about the radical calling we are given to forgive others.
Why is it that someone forgiven by God will forgive others? That’s what we want to think about here.
I’m going to read one of Jesus’ parables in Matthew 18:21–35.
Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” 22 Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.
For the Pharisees, the expectation was 3 or 4 times!
23 “Therefore the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants. 24 When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents.
The math is important here. A talent was a lot of money. 1 talent = 6,000 denarii. A denarius was a day’s wage. So, 1 talent = 6,000 days wages. But he owed 10,000 talents = 60 million days wages. At $50k a year = just over $8 billion.
The sum is impossibly huge. The debt is impossibly massive. No normal servant could accumulate such a debt.
25 And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and payment to be made. 26 So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’ 27 And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt.
28 But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii, and seizing him, he began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay what you owe.’ 29 So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you.’ 30 He refused and went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt.
100 denarii = 100 days wages = $14k with our $50k annually estimate. Not nothing, but far from $8 billion!
Notice that the “fellow servant” spoke an almost identical appeal to his debtor, “Have patience with me, and I will pay you.” The wicked servant was deaf to the man’s cry.
31 When his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their master all that had taken place. 32 Then his master summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. 33 And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?’ 34 And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers, until he should pay all his debt.
“Until he should pay all his debt”! How long would it take in a prison to work off an $8 billion debt? Forever! You couldn’t do it.
35 So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.” (Matt 18:21-35)
The parable is meant to help us see the scale of forgivenesss.
On one side is the moral debt we owe to God for our sinfulness. On the other side is the moral debt others owe to us for their sins against us.
The debt others owe to us is significant. Substantial. Real.
But the key is that it’s nothing compared to our debt to God. And God was wiped out our debts completely. Forever. Past, present, future. We look at the ledger. The ledger has Jesus’ name on it, and the ledger says, “Paid in Full!”
Why are these amounts so completely different, our debt to God, the debt of others to us?
Another way to ask it is this, Why are our sins against God so much greater than the sin of others against us?
We can ask three questions to help us see the great difference:
Our sin against God vs. Others sinning against us
1. Who is offended?
2. How great is the honor of the one offended?
3. Has the offended one ever committed the same sin?
First, who is offended?
Second, how great is the honor of the one offended?
Third, has the offended one ever committed the same sin?
One of the powerful ways we can grow in forgiving others is by knowing at a deep level God’s forgiveness of us.
If you struggle with self-righteousness, bitterness toward a particular person, unforgiveness in many of your relationships, maybe the problem is that you simply don’t get your massive debt toward God and what the Lord did to remove it.
Our forgiveness is through Jesus’ blood:
In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace. (Eph 1:7)
But if God’s forgiveness of you isn’t amazing, it will be hard to forgive others.
Read more of the Corrie ten Boom story. “The message that God forgives has a prior condition....I forgive you, brother! With all my heart!”
Forgiving others is not like buying gas. When you buy gas, it’s an amazingly consistent process. I put my debit card in the pump. Punch some numbers. Choose my gas. Begin pumping.
All across the US, it works the same. The problem is the same: I need gas. The solution is the same: A gas station. The method is the same: I repeat the steps.
But forgiveness is not like that. Let’s think about some of the complexity.
One pathway of forgiveness is when a person asks for my forgiveness. The person sinned, and the person asks for my forgiveness.
Jesus speaks to this in Luke 17:
“Pay attention to yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him, 4 and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.” (Luke 17:3-4)
But another pathway of forgiveness is when a person doesn’t ask for it. The person truly sinned, but for whatever reason, the person never asks for my forgiveness.
Jesus models this for us on the cross in his prayer for his accusers:
And Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” (Luke 23:34)
Notice that he’s praying to the Father. He’s praying that the Father would forgive them. He doesn’t say, “I forgive you.”
But this pathway of forgiveness does have an action for us. We determine that we will not hold this sin against the person. We will not stew on it. We will not be embittered by it. We will not wish them harm because of it.
A third pathway of forgiveness is when the sin affects in a very profound way. It’s not just an angry word or cutting us off in traffic.
Maybe the sin impacted our lives in a deep and maybe lifelong way. Abuse. An act of true violence. Rape. An act of fraud that robbed us of all our money.
Or maybe it was a repeated act. Here the impact was not the one-time affect but the cumulative affect. Years of mistreatment.
Forgiveness in these cases is far from simple.
Here we need to remember:
But still, in these cases where the sin against is great, I still need to look to Jesus’ parable of the unforgiving steward. My sin against God is still massively greater. And if I’m in Christ, he has forgiven me of all my sins. I am the richest and most privileged of people because of his forgiveness! I can forgive someone’s debt toward me, because of the spiritual wealth I’ve received in Christ.
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places. (Eph 1:3)
We are given the radical calling to forgive, because we have been forgiven by our Heavenly Father!
What Jesus is telling us in the Sermon on the Mount is that my forgiving others starts with God forgiving me.
And God’s forgiveness of me starts with the cross of Christ.
In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace. (Eph 1:7)
I know forgiveness because of Jesus’ blood! That payment takes away all my sins—past, present, and future. The debt is paid in full!
And that forgiveness is mine when I believe in Jesus.
So, maybe that’s the starting point for you today.
But then once you’ve received that forgiveness, LIVE IN THE GOOD OF IT!
And then use that to help you forgive the people in your life.
For those of you struggling to forgive a very particular person for a very particular sin, come up front after the service. Have someone pray for you.
Prayer and closing song
[1] Available at https://guideposts.org/positive-living/guideposts-classics-corrie-ten-boom-forgiveness/.
[2] Klyne Snodgrass, Stories with Intent: : A Comprehensive Guide to the Parables of Jesus (Grand Rapids, MI: Eerdmans, 2008), 74.
Here are some other recent messages.
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