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Though love is nearly universally understood as a virtue, our culture, including some in the church, can be quite confused about the actual true nature of love.
For example, one approach to love in our culture is to make the primary criteria affirming or accepting another person’s behavior or claimed identity in order to make them feel loved. Another variation of this is to define love as simply being nice.
We are aware of how this confusion leads to a distortion in our understanding of how we are to love our neighbor. A deficient understanding of biblical love leads to bad parenting, unfulfilling marriages, weak friendships, and a lack of holiness in the church. Essentially, it leads to a man-centered worldview.
One of the underlying assumptions to this culturally-defined view of love is that I get to decide what is loving and what is not, especially as it pertains to how people love me.
If I can gently pick on a popular book on Christian marriage from the early 90s, we can see this point more clearly.
Whether or not you’ve read the book, you’ve probably heard of The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. He describes five different ways that we may experience being loved.
The basic idea is that each of us can individually receive love a bit differently. You may feel more loved when your spouse gives you flowers than when he gets off work to spend some extra quality time with you. Perhaps your wife expresses her love to you through never-ending acts of service (cooking, housekeeping, handling the kids’ school), but you don’t really feel loved unless she showers you with words of affirmation.
There is certainly some wisdom in learning what kinds of expressions of love bless another person. The chances are that you and your spouse have a different “love language,” and learning what makes the other person feel loved can benefit your relationship.
We must not turn this on its head, though. This is not permission to demand what another must do in order to love us.
The secular culture around us is even more demanding, telling us that if we do not accept all of a person’s behaviors, beliefs, preferences, or “identity” we cannot say that we truly love them.
As toxic as that can be to human flourishing and a healthy society, I’m concerned with a greater danger this morning.
The greater danger for us is that we might miss out on God’s love for us.
If we base our understanding of love on getting what we want or feeling accepted just as we are, we may miss out on the glory of God’s love for us.
Just as our feelings cannot be the final authority on what is loving in our relationship with someone else, we don’t get to decide the criteria for how God loves us.
My goal this morning is to convince you that “God’s Love is Better Than You Think.” He does not base his love for you or me on what we think will make us happy. Suffering and hardships can also make it difficult for us to feel the love of God at times. How then are we to know God’s love with certainty?
We are continuing our preaching series through Paul’s Letter to the Romans. In his letter, he carefully and exhaustively explains the good news or Gospel about Jesus Christ, including God’s love for us.
In our passage this morning, Paul introduces us to the reality of God’s love for his readers (which includes us).
We will look at these points together:
Whom does God love? This must be one aspect of our study today. Our text has a curious answer to this question. But, before we return to our passage, let’s broaden our question theologically for just a moment. If we are asking the question, “whom does God love?” where should we begin?
One of the first things we must remember about God and love is that love is not only something that God does. The Bible tells us that “God is love” (1 John 4:8, 16). Before God created anything, he was already love, and expressed that love within the relationships in Trinity.
Grudem defines God’s love like this:
God’s love means that God eternally gives of himself to others.
— Wayne Grudem, Systematic Theology, 237.
This self expression does not require created beings. From eternity past, it has been within the relationships of the Trinity.
The Apostle John writes of God’s love in his Gospel and his letters.
John 5:20 (ESV) — For the Father loves the Son and shows him all that he himself is doing…
John 14:31 (ESV) — but I do as the Father has commanded me, so that the world may know that I love the Father…
In Jesus’ High Priestly prayer in John 17, he prays that we would experience the same love that he and the Father share.
John 17:26 (ESV) — I made known to them your name, and I will continue to make it known, that the love with which you have loved me may be in them, and I in them.”
Not only is God’s love active within the Trinity, it is also at work in some sense with all of humanity. There are many in the world who will not experience the fullness of the love of God given in salvation, but that doesn’t limit God’s love.
John 3:16 (ESV) — “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.
God’s love and goodness also go beyond the bounds of salvation. Matthew tells us that God “makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust” (see Matthew 5:43-48). He goes on to tell us that we should “love” our enemies in the same way.
James tells us that:
James 1:17 (ESV) — Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.
The Psalmist captures God’s love for his creatures.
Psalm 145:8–9 (ESV) — The LORD is gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. The LORD is good to all, and his mercy is over all that he has made.
God’s very patience toward the world is an expression of his love.
Romans 2:4 (ESV) — Or do you presume on the riches of his kindness and forbearance and patience, not knowing that God’s kindness is meant to lead you to repentance?
Though God’s love within the Trinity and his love for the world are important, when we talk of God’s love for us, we are most often talking of his special, saving, covenant love for his chosen people.
Maybe you think of the great Hebrew term, Ḥesed (חֶסֶד), often translated “steadfast love” in the ESV.
Psalm 86:15 (ESV) — But you, O Lord, are a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness.
This is the same love by which God calls us to be his own children.
1 John 3:1 (ESV) — See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are…
The surprising part of our text in Romans 5 is how Paul describes those to whom God is demonstrating his love. We might expect descriptions like faithful, followers, children, favored, saints, etc.
Israel seemed to have the wrong idea (that God loved them because they were special) as they were about to enter the Promised Land. Moses had to remind them that:
Deuteronomy 7:7–8 (ESV) — It was not because you were more in number than any other people that the LORD set his love on you and chose you, for you were the fewest of all peoples, but it is because the LORD loves you and is keeping the oath that he swore to your fathers, that the LORD has brought you out with a mighty hand and redeemed you from the house of slavery, from the hand of Pharaoh king of Egypt.
Let’s go back to Romans 5 and see the descriptors Paul uses to describe the recipients of God’s love. As a reminder, he’s talking to the church (i.e. believers) about their salvation.
Can you find the four descriptors of those receiving God’s love in vv. 6-10?
Romans 5:6–8 (ESV)
I don’t want to steal too much from Mike’s sermon passage for next week, but vs. 10 helps us round out this picture.
Romans 5:10 (ESV)
The objects of God’s love are not the loyal, righteous, or deserving, but rather the weak (powerless), ungodly, sinners, and even his enemies. One might try to interpret weak as a morally neutral term, though I’m persuaded it has an element of moral failure in it, but the other three cannot be seen as neutral.
Christ didn’t die for sinners because he detected in them an inclination toward God or (v. 10) a desire to end the enmity toward God. He died to overcome the enmity and hostility of the ungodly toward God.
— Thomas R. Schreiner, Romans, Baker Exegetical Commentary, 267.
Before we move on to our second point, make sure you grasp the implications of this truth. If God’s love is poured out for the weak and godless, for sinners and his enemies, then there is no one outside the reach of God’s love. There is no group or individual beyond the pale of God’s love.
Paul now offers a parenthetical comment on the difference between man’s love and God’s love.
Romans 5:7 (ESV)
Paul is not minimizing the reality or beauty of human love. Our novels and movies are filled with stories (even true ones) of deep expressions of love.
Considering that it’s Mother’s Day today, it would be appropriate to honor the deep, relational, sacrificial, and persistent love from a mother to a child.
We should keep in view the many sacrifices that mothers make out of love for their children.
God himself even makes a comparison between a mother’s love and his own faithfulness.
Isaiah 49:15 (ESV) — “Can a woman forget her nursing child, that she should have no compassion on the son of her womb? Even these may forget, yet I will not forget you.
The example Paul gives to compare God’s love to man’s love is that of giving up your life for another human being. Jesus himself said this to his disciples:
John 15:13 (ESV) — Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.
Yet, Paul’s point here in Romans 5 is that Jesus actually even went beyond laying down his life for his friends. He even laid it down for his enemies.
Paul is arguing from the lesser to the greater. It’s possible one might lay down his life for a righteous person, or a good person. God’s love goes beyond this.
I really like how Douglas Moo summarizes the point Paul is making.
a. Human love, at its best, will motivate a person to give his or her life for a truly “good” person (v. 7);
b. Christ, sent by God, died, not for “righteous” people, or even for “good” people, but for rebellious and undeserving people (v. 6);
c. Therefore: God’s love is far greater in its magnitude and dependability than even the greatest human love (v. 8).
— Douglas J. Moo, The Letter to the Romans, NICNT, 333.
It is right for us to be inspired and challenged by examples of human love. I hope you have seen many examples in your life of those demonstrating faithful, sacrificial love for another. By God’s grace, I hope you leave a legacy of loving others well, even at great cost to yourself.
But, to understand the depths of God’s love, we must look deeper. His love is greater and higher and wider.
Let’s turn our attention now to the proof of God’s love. Here, we are answering the question, “How can I know that God loves me?”
First, let me encourage you to memorize vs. 8. It should be underlined or highlighted in your Bible. It’s a continuation or restatement of vs. 6. The second part of the verse is one of the shortest summary statements of the Gospel in the entire Bible. It should be a key verse in your gospel presentation through the Roman’s Road.
Romans 5:8 (ESV) — but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
We have already had several sermons over the last few chapters explaining what it meant for Christ to die for us, so I’ll only say a few things here.
First, Christ died in our place. The wages of sin is death (Rom 6:23), and we deserve God’s wrath because of our sin. God told our first parents in the Garden that in the day they ate of the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil, they would surely die. Death came over all humanity at that point, and we were all born into sin. Christ, never having sinned, did not deserve to die. Therefore, his death was a substitutionary one. To quote the famous hymn by Philip Bliss:
Bearing shame and scoffing rude
In my place condemned He stood
Sealed my pardon with His blood
Hallelujah what a Savior“Hallelujah What A Savior” by Philip Bliss
Second, Christ died for our sake. He gave his life so that we might receive life even though we deserve death.
This is familiar territory for us, but it must never get old or mundane. It will be part of the song we sing into all eternity.
Revelation 5:12 (ESV) — … “Worthy is the Lamb who was slain, to receive power and wealth and wisdom and might and honor and glory and blessing!”
The unique aspect of Paul’s argument that I’d like us to see with fresh eyes this morning, however, is how Christ dying for sinners proves God’s love for us.
Last week, our passage talked about how we experience God’s love. Look at verse 5 with me.
Romans 5:5 (ESV) — and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.
We experience God’s love through the ministry of the Holy Spirit in our hearts. This is not a trickle of God’s love, but a fountain of it.
Have you ever experienced this fountain of God’s love? This is not a mere theological, mental, or philosophical exercise. It is experiential. It is the reality of God coming in and interrupting our human experience.
Examples: Lloyd-Jones in Joy Unspeakable. Piper in ?
In my own life, I have experienced this overwhelming sense of the love of God on several occasions. At the moment of my conversion, I was overcome by God’s readiness to forgive and cleanse me. On other occasions, I’ve experienced resting in God’s care and Providence in my life.
But, if we can be honest with one another, mosts of us do not live in a perpetual state of experiencing God’s love overflowing in our hearts. What are we to make of this reality? The fact that we can look back and identify moments of our Christian journey when we were particularly affected by experiencing the love of God raises questions. Why do we not always feel and experience this? Are we missing out? Can we be sure in all the other moments that God does truly love us even when we don’t feel it experientially?
This is where I find Paul’s argument in vs. 8 so helpful.
Romans 5:8 (ESV) — but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
If we step back and look at how Paul is presenting the love of God, we notice that in verse 5 he explains that God’s love is poured out in our hearts through the Holy Spirit, and then he offers vv. 6-11 as evidence or proof of that reality. That is what the initial “For” indicates in vs. 6.
The ESV departs from many other translations in vs. 8 with “God shows his love…” Most modern translations translate as “demonstrates.” The Christian Standard Bible even has “proves.” The point is this: if you are looking for evidence to prove the love of God, the answer is not primarily found in our human experience or feelings, but in the objective reality of what God has done for us in Christ.
The answer to the question, “How do you know that God loves you?” is not a warm, tranquil feeling in your internal organs, but the historical reality that God sent his Son into the world to die for sinners.
God’s love is a spiritual reality, but it has been proven by his acting in human history. God intends for us to experience his love in our hearts, but the evidence of his love is outside the human heart, available for all to see.
Let’s open our eyes to the Love of God expressed in his saving work on our behalf.
Ephesians 1:4–5 (ESV) — even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love he predestined us for adoption to himself as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will,
1 John 4:9–10 (ESV) — In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him.
1 John 4:10 (ESV) — In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.
Ephesians 2:4–5 (ESV) — But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved—
Romans 8:38–39 (ESV) — For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
We began this morning by saying that God’s love is better than we think. It is higher and deeper and broader than human love. It is given, not for the deserving or worthy, but for us, even while we were still sinners. This is what makes God’s love good news.
This means we must fight against any wrong ideas about God’s love that may arise in an evangelistic encounter or in our own hearts.
Perhaps, you have put other demands on God to prove his love for you.
Finally, it’s very biblical to pray that God would deepen our experience in his love.
I know we’ve read this passage from Ephesians 3 recently, but it’s so appropriate today. This is part of Paul’s prayer for the Ephesian believers.
Ephesians 3:17–19 (ESV) — so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.
Not only do we pray for God to strengthen us to experience the love of God, but we also purposefully and directly turn our hearts to consider it.
2 Thessalonians 3:5 (ESV) — May the Lord direct your hearts to the love of God and to the steadfastness of Christ.
Here are some other recent messages.
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