Introduction

In October my wife Connie and I took a trip out west. It was for our 45th anniversary and we had a great time. It is hard to come up with one highlight but the first stop was to the Grand Canyon.

Many people who have been there over the years have said they experienced an “O Wow!” moment when they first saw it. For us it was more like an O Wow, O Wow, O Wow moments. Because we spent most of the two days that we were there walking around the Southern rim.

And every time we would stop and gaze into this amazing site it would seem as if the new view was as good or more awesome than the previous one. At one point Connie said “I just want to stay here”. She was so captivated by the beauty and splendor of the Canyon. It truly was glorious as was much of what we saw during the rest of the trip.

Romans 1 tells us that God’s invisible attributes, that is his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made. We see the glory of God revealed in the majesty and beauty of creation.

In Job 26 Job is extolling the greatness of God in creation and his control and mastery over it. And then he says this about the Lord. (fringes)

Behold, these are but the outskirts of his ways, and how small a whisper do we hear of him! Job 26:14

The majesty and awesomeness of creation reveals part of God’s glory but it is just a whisper of how great and glorious he is. And that glory in creation is all around us. One of the benefits of being in the book of Genesis is that it encourages us to think about God as the creator of all things and to open our eyes to the glory of all that he has made. And today our text tells us of God’s glory, his glory in marriage.

Our Genesis series is titled “Right From the Start.” Because Genesis is a foundational book of the Bible for in it we find the way God intended for us to live - right from the start.

In 2022 Louise Perry who is described as a non-religious feminist wrote a book titled “The Case Against the Sexual Revolution”. I have not read it but I have read some of the reviews of it. In it she takes the sexual revolution to task, especially its toxic effect on women. The last chapter of the book is titled “Marriage Is Good”. She advocates for monogamous marriage as the best thing for the benefit of women and children.

She has discovered through God’s common grace the glory of God in marriage that he ordained right from the start. And that’s what we will look at today for in verses 18-25 of chapter 2 we read about the bringing together of the first man and woman into the covenant of marriage. And we see the glory of God in how he ordained men and women to live together in marriage so that they might experience his goodness and carry out his purposes. Let’s pray.

I. The Glory of Not Being Alone

Now before we get to the first point let me mention two important considerations. One is that I am not intending to speak on gay marriage. And let me be clear that the Scripture gives no place for it. This is true in that it never endorses it or gives any example of it. It’s actually never considered an option because Scripture clearly condemns homosexuality as sin both in the Old Testament and the New.

In highlighting the glory of marriage we are declaring what God has set in place right from the beginning. Marriage is between a biological man and a biological woman. It is a beautiful and glorious thing and we want to celebrate it. We want to rejoice in this good thing that God has given to us. God’s glory and pleasure are seen in the coming together of a man and a woman in a lifelong commitment of fidelity and love.

There are genuine Christian who struggle with SSA, same sex attraction. Maybe that’s a besetting temptation for some of you, just as heterosexual (het er al sexual) lust can be a besetting temptation for others. I Peter tells us that these passions of the flesh wage war against our souls. We are called to not indulge them but to put them to death.

Your pastors want you to know that if you struggle in this area we want to care for you in any way we can. We want you to be free to talk to us about your struggles and how we might be able to encourage you in the Lord.

Also in preparing this message I was aware of those of you who are single or those of you who may be in a difficult marriage or have gone through a divorce. Those of you who are single, some of you may be very content in your current state or patiently waiting for God’s timing for marriage.

But there may be others who have done so for a long time and maybe you struggle with your singleness. To you and to those who are currently in a challenging marriage I want you to know that we respect your commitment to God that is on display in difficult seasons of life. It’s easy to live for God when everything is going well in one’s life. But when one continues to live for Christ in hard times that brings glory to God and encouragement to his people.

The focus of this message is the glory of God in marriage but an ever greater focus for all of us as believers is to live everyday in good times and in trying times in a way that pleases the Lord. May He help us all to do so. It is the great pursuit of the Christian life. To glorify God and enjoy him forever.

Well, after the Lord declares seven times in chapter one that different aspects of the creation were good he declares in chapter 2 verse 18 that it is not good for man to be alone. So right from the start our Creator was stating that man was created for fellowship with other people. Though the context is marriage it is a declarative statement about the need for family and community. “It is good for us to not be alone; it is good for men and women to be in fellowship.”

And so whether you are married or single, wanting to marry or not, young or old, introvert or extrovert you need other people and were created to exist in community.

I don’t think that this verse means it’s wrong to be alone or to enjoy being alone, to enjoy solitude. Nor is it wrong to be single.

Marriage does not belong to the essence of being human. Although unmarried, Jesus was a genuine and complete human being and without any defect he completed the work that the Father had given him to do. Numerous men and women have abstained from marriage and devoted themselves with all their strength to missions and mercy, to science and art and gave themselves in most valuable service to humanity. In heaven people will no longer be married or be given in marriage. Marriage is thus a temporary, provisional institution.

— Herman Bavinck

But here in verse 18 we read that Adam before the fall, before sin entered into the world, we see him lacking something, fellowship with other people, and specifically with a help mate.

He is alone. Adam, being created in a specific unique fashion in the image of God, differentiated from all that has preceded him, finds that nothing corresponds to him. In the Hebrew one can feel the force of this especially in verse 20: ”But for Adam there was not found a help meet for him (that is a helper opposite to him).” The emphasis here is on a counterpart to Adam, someone parallel to him yet somehow different.

— Fransis Schaeffer

We should remember the context of our passage. It’s day six of creation. As Daniel mentioned last week chapter one of Genesis is looking at the seven days of creation from ten thousand feet up. Chapter two focuses on day six when he created Adam and Eve in his own image. In some ways, it’s the rest of the story of the creation of mankind. Chapter two zooms in on some of the details that aren’t recorded in c2.

So (in v7-9) after the Lord formed Adam out of the dust of the earth and breathed into him the breath of life he placed him in the garden in Eden that he had planted.

And he told Adam to work the garden and to keep it and that he could eat from any tree in the garden except the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. Then he goes on to say that it’s not good for man to be alone and that he will make him a helper fit for him. Here are some of the reasons it wasn’t good for Adam to be alone:

In chapter 1:26 it reads God said, “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness.” So the Triune God was having a conversation. Let us make man in our image. From all eternity, the Father, the Son and the Spirit have enjoyed fellowship and love with one another. Adam could not enter into that type of fellowship without having other people on the earth. The Lord wanted the human race to enjoy fellowship among themselves just as the Trinity had/has.

In verse 27 of chapter one we read So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. So it was God’s intention right from the start to create mankind in his image via male and female. Adam in himself did not reflect the image of God completely. He needed Eve for that.

Bavinck in his book states that the man was the head of the home but the woman is the heart of the home. Both men and women are created in the image of God and God ordained that his image would be more fully expressed in the creation of both men and women.

In verse 28 he gives Adam and Eve dominion over all every living thing on the earth. They are told to be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it. Obviously he couldn’t do any of that apart from having a wife and offspring that would fill the earth and help carry out that mandate.

So that is the specific context of the Bible’s comment that it was not good for man to be alone. If we go back to a more expansive view of that statement we can see that throughout Scripture the Lord has provided different ways that we can experience fellowship with others. One is with family that is with your parents and siblings and other extended family members. Second is the community of faith, the local church as well as Christian friends outside our church.

There are also groups in our culture such as neighbors, people we work with and clubs and organizations we can belong to and enjoy fellowship and relationships with others.

And beyond all this is the fellowship we have with God himself. Jesus said I will never leave you or forsake you. We may lose friends through their moving away or relational difficulties or just drifting apart over the years. We can lose a spouse through death or divorce or relational estrangement. But we will never lose fellowship with our heavenly Father.

We can always draw near to him through Christ and experience and receive his love. Proverbs tells us that there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

So there are many ways we can experience not being alone but the context of our passage is the marriage relationship. And the Lord has set in place that this is one of the main ways for mankind to experience the companionship and fellowship of another and to bring about his will on the earth.

In this book of beginnings, it’s important to remember that the things God ordained at creation are extremely important. And here after the creation of the heavens and the earth and the creatures in the sea and on the land and male and female being made in the likeness of God we have the setting apart of marriage as a fundamental relationship among men and women. Glory to God.

In chapter 3 we will see that sin enters into the world and affects everything with its curse including marriage. But here is chapter two we have the ordination of God’s blessing on marriage and we want to glory in it. I’m not denying the challenges of marriage. But I am saying that we should glory in how God ordained this relationship for our blessing and his purposes and allow its original intent to motivate us in the pursuit of God glorifying marriages.

II. The Glory of A Helper Fit For Him

In verses 18-20 the Lord takes Adam through an exercise of naming all the beasts of the field and birds of the air. And in this exercise we see as in our own lives God working in more than one way. For after this exercise Adam realizes that as amazing as some of these creatures were, none of them were fit to be the helper the Lord had talked about.

Both body and spirit are so intimately united within the human person that the human person possesses a unique nature and a unique position among all creatures. In a special sense a human person is a product of God; a person in his image and likeness, his child and his race.

— Herman Bavinck

This points to the glory of God for us in being created in the image of God. Praise God for all the sea creatures and reptiles and birds of the air and beast of the field. (small organisms) But only mankind, male and female were made in God’s likeness and at this point Adam was longing for that other person. So what happens: the Lord puts Adam to sleep and then takes one of his ribs and makes the woman out it. And then he brought her to Adam.

Our passage doesn’t give us all the details of how it transpired but I can see where maybe the Lord didn’t say anything but just brought Eve and presented her to Adam. You know that O Wow moment at the Grand Canyon? Well Adam had one of those when he first saw Eve. Bavinck says “Like a whoop of joy, like a wedding song, the words came forth from his lips: “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.

Husbands, remember when you first met your wife?! Was that an O Wow moment for you? Or wives was it the same way when you realized or thought that there was a chance that he was interested in you!?

It actually is to the glory of God when we continue to have those O Wow moments with our spouse. When we are grateful to God for the gift of them to us from a loving heavenly Father.

Verse 18 reads I will make him a helper fit for him. Ladies don’t be put off by this word helper. In Scripture God the Father a number of times is called the helper of man. And in the New Testament both Jesus and the Holy Spirit are named as his helper. Obviously your role in his life is different than the Trinity’s but it is a high calling that you have been given.

It is a role, a calling that is both equal to and different from your husbands. Equal in that you were both made in the image of God, both given a mandate to be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion. I Peter 3 tells us you are fellow heirs of the grace of God.

Your role however is different from your husband’s. Adam was placed in the garden and given the call to tend and keep it. His wife was called to assist him in that. Some translations describe the wife as a suitable helper, a helper as his partner, companion for him who corresponds to him." I will make a helper as his complement or counterpart.

This shared responsibility of God’s calling will look different in each marriage based on each one’s gifts and personalities and strengths and weaknesses. The division of labor in each household will vary but at the end of the day it should be the husband leading as the head of the family and the wife following his loving and humble leadership.

My wife has a little saying that goes “Whatever we do, we do together”. She doesn’t mean that we are always doing the same thing together. But that our callings as a couple and a family we do together. Yes we have different roles and gifts and strengths and weaknesses but we are seeking to accomplish the same goal and calling together. Whether it’s our calling as parents or members of the local church or caring for elderly parents we have done those things together.

It doesn’t mean a wife doesn’t have callings apart from her husband. But I think her role as stated here in Genesis as a help mate makes her first and primary calling that of working together with her husband to fulfill the call of God in his life and their life together as a couple and family.

Benjamin highlighted last week in his benediction the woman in Proverbs 31. She was a model of a resourceful, independent (in a good sense) diligent and faithful worker or helper or partner in the calling of her family.

Let me give you two other elements of this calling of a wife as a helpmate.

A companion. Malachi 2:14 The wife of your youth. She is your companion and your wife by covenant. The dictionary gives us this definition: person with whom one spends a lot of time or with whom one travels. So we travel together with our spouse through all the joys and sorrows of life. Now we do that with friends and family but your spouse is the one uniquely called to share your life together.

A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short.

— Andre Maurois

Or From Ecclesiastes:

Enjoy life with the wife whom you love, all the days of your vain life that he has given you under the sun, because that is your portion in life and in your toil at which you toil under the sun. (Ecclesiastes 9:9)

Concerning this Hebrew word for companion Strongs uses the word consort as a synonym. A consort is the title for the wife or husband of a monarch. A royal consort has no constitutional power but supports their spouse in his or her duties as sovereign. Husbands, you may be the King of your family but your wife is the Queen and you ought to treat her that way.

Secondly and this is similar to a companion but different, she is called to be his friend. Song of Solomon chapter 5 the bride says of her husband This is my beloved and this is my friend. I want to highlight two verses from Proverbs on biblical friendship:

Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy. Proverbs 27:6

Oil and perfume make the heart glad, and the sweetness of a friend comes from his earnest counsel. Proverbs 27:9

Husbands and wives - Are you open to hearing both the counsel and the reproof or correction of your spouse? If not, you are missing out on an important avenue of grace. This part of our calling, to give loving and gracious observations and counsel to our spouse must be handled with care and wisdom.

Encouragement and praise should be the norm. But we are called to serve one another in giving Spirit led counsel and perspective, perspective that can sometime sting our pride. There is a lot more we could say about this but the question I have for you is are you open to hearing it and do you invite it rather than run from it.

The marriage relationship is like no other human relationship. Yes there are different roles for husbands and wives but this is to be a sacred, loving, joyful relationship and partnership where the two have become one which leads us to our last point.

III. The Glory of Leaving and Cleaving

In verses 24 and 25 we read Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.

It’s interesting that it’s the man who is called to leave his father and mother and hold fast (cleave) to his wife. I think that has to do with the fact that generally the woman is more ready to leave her family and start her own. Whereas the man can be reluctant to do so because it’s pretty comfortable living at home as a single man.

Single men. Unless God has called you to singleness you should be asking the Lord for a godly wife. In different seasons of life in wisdom you may need to wait but even then you should be thinking about and praying about this calling to leave and to cleave.

If you’re not ready to be married then you should ask yourself where do I need to change and grow? Talk to your parents or a trusted Christian friend or one of your pastors. This also applies, obviously, to the single women in our church.

John Gill was a Baptist pastor and theologian. Here’s what he had to say about leaving and cleaving

Taking care of her, nourishing and cherishing her, providing all things comfortable for her, continuing to live with her, and not depart from her as long as they live: the phrase is expressive of the near union by marriage between man and wife; they are, as it were, glued together, and make but one; which is more fully and strongly expressed in the next clause: and they shall be one flesh.

— John Gill

NIV uses the word united to. Just as there is unity in the Trinity so there should be unity and oneness in our marriages. And yet just as in the Trinity we remain our own person with our unique gifts and personalities.

This leaving and cleaving is to be spiritual, emotional and physical. To enter into the unity of marriage one must be willing to leave their past life behind and to hold fast or cleave to another one with their body, soul and spirit. This is what makes Christian marriage sacred - it is the setting apart of a man and a woman to one another into the covenant of marriage.

John Stott speaking of verse 24 when it is quoted in Ephesians 5 writes that there is no reason to doubt that this passage about leaving and cleaving is referring to the mysterious and sacred depths of sexual union.

Part of the glory of God in marriage is the sexual relationship which God has ordained to be enjoyed by both husband and wife. The Bible is not prudish about this. Read the Song of Solomon or Proverbs 5 and you will find Scripture’s view on the glory of God in sex. This is very much a part of the cleaving that husband and wife are called to. And in contrast to the world’s view of sexual immorality: a covenant of marriage where both husband and wife love God first and out of that love for him love one another -that provides a setting for a lifetime of marital happiness - spirit, soul and body. Glory to God!

Closing

So in closing let me discuss a few encouragements.

First regardless if you are single or married seek to make the Lord The Love of your life. A great marriage is wonderful. A great relationship with God is better and more important. It will carry you through whatever God’s providence has ordained for you.

Having said that, if you are single and desire to be married don’t give up. Especially don’t give up praying. Don’t just ask to be married or for a spouse. But pray God glorifying, wisdom filled prayers for a godly spouse.

If you are married remember that Christian marriage is to be for God’s glory and our good. We must keep it in that order. God’s glory must be the main motivation of our lives.

One of the ways we do that is to seek to focus on our responsibilities in marriage not our spouse’s.

Ephesians 5:22-33 highlights what the ultimate purpose for the Christian marriage is. The glory of God on display as the husband and wife model the relationship of Christ and the church.

At the end of the passage Paul refers back to our text:

Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. (Ephesians 5:31-33)

Husbands, focus on your calling, wives focus on yours.

Pray for your spouse daily.

Make love your great aim. This is true for all of life but especially in the school of marriage. I Corinthians 13 is so often quoted at weddings and then forgotten. This passage is the great instructor of true love, especially v 4-8. Cultivate it, work hard at it. Work hard at cultivating love, work hard at your marriage. It’s worth it.

Be a learner. Over the last few years we’ve had “wisdom” parties for whenever a young man is getting married. The married men who are invited to this share with the upcoming groom wisdom from their lives. And what I’ve noticed from those gatherings is that the married guys like to come and hear and glean from the other husbands.

That may be something our homegroups seek to do. Especially when the ladies meet together and the men meet together. Have times when you discuss the things that have helped your marriages and the things that you struggle with. Let’s take advantage of the rich treasury of marital wisdom and experience we have in our church.

If you are really struggling, get help. Maybe it’s getting together with a couple you know and respect. Maybe it’s talking with your homegroup leader and wife. Or maybe it’s talking with one of the pastors. Humble yourself and get help.

The only perfect marriage is the one that will culminate in the new heavens and the new earth between Jesus and his church. Until then let us seek to grow and enjoy God glorifying marriages. Amen.