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1 Peter 3:8–12 (ESV)
I admit that the sermon title feels a little bit like click-bait. But, I do think “A Sure Path to the Good Life” does actually fit the sermon. I even considered “Three Simple Steps to a Rewarding Life.”
Don’t be deceived, though. The truths we will learn and apply today will not likely be found in any of the 50 top sellers in the self-help section of Amazon or on the New York Times Best Sellers list.
Peter gives us this invitation to pay attention:
In other words, this is a sermon for you.
We might phrase it slightly differently today. We might say, “How to get the most out of life” or “How to be happy” or “Live the Life of your dreams” or some other catchy title to get someone to pay attention. But however we might say it, this is a sermon for all of us. There are truths in this text that can radically affect your life from this day forward.
Each one of us desires to love life and to see good days. You do not even have to be a Christian to want that. The culture around us has no lack of ideas about how to find fulfillment and happiness. The Self-help section at the book store is filled to the brim with ideas about what will bring you happiness.
The list of things the world chases after in pursuit of happiness is well-worn. Beauty, popularity, comfort, financial security, health, pleasure, leisure, youthfulness, success in your vocation, peace in your relationships. Our culture preaches their own gospel of the good life, telling you to be true to yourself, be your authentic self, or follow your heart.
We all naturally pursue the Good Life, however we define it, Christian or not. The atheist or agnostic pursues his own happiness. Both the secularist and religious person pursues a life of meaning and fulfillment.
But, unfortunately, all of us experience difficulties in this pursuit. We encounter frequent and significant challenges to this pursuit of the good life.
What if we were to make a different list, one of the roadblocks to our experience of the “Good Life?” Though every person’s story has slightly different details, I think I can distill the general answer after two decades of pastoring and counseling.
Or to say it differently:
Peter is going to tell us something very different.
We are in the middle of our series through the book of 1 Peter, a letter written by Peter and Silvanus to the churches of the dispersion in Asia during the first century. We are calling the series, “Perspective” because Peter helps us see clearly in so many different areas of our lives.
Today, we are beginning a section of his letter that will highlight how Christians are to live in the midst of suffering. He reference suffering at least 17 times in the letter. I want us to remember that as we hear what Peter has to say. He isn’t writing to individuals who are experiencing the ideal Christian culture, or ideal relationships. He is writing to those who are experiencing—or will experience great suffering and trials, and yet he is writing to those who “desire to love life and see good days.”
These are the words of a King. This king was anointed by God. It was obvious from a young age that God was with him. God accomplished great things through this king’s deeds. God spoke great things through this king’s words. However, this king experienced great suffering. In fact, the very circumstances behind this particular quote involve great betrayal, being rejected and wrongfully attacked, the tearing away of godly relationship, and unjust suffering.
Peter, and this king, are going to help us gain perspective to see the path to love life and see good days. We will tackle it in three points.
1 Peter 3:8 (ESV)
The ESV has “finally” here, though it could be translated, “in summary.” Peter has been speaking to specific groups of people for the last bit in his letter—citizens, slaves, wives, husbands—but now he is speaking to everyone—to “all of you.” This section began back in Chapter 2, verses 11-12.
1 Peter 2:11–12 (ESV) — Beloved, I urge you as sojourners and exiles to abstain from the passions of the flesh, which wage war against your soul. Keep your conduct among the Gentiles honorable, so that when they speak against you as evildoers, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day of visitation.
This is helpful to remember the context of all of these instructions. Peter has been encouraging specific behaviors so that God would be glorified as people see our good deeds.
Peter also rightly points his readers to the source of their real struggle—the passions of their flesh which wage war against their souls. This sets us up well for our passage here in chapter 3, where Peter urges his readers to nurture 5 different attitudes and emotions. It’s a bit awkward to translate since he only gives us 5 adjectives with no verbs at all. The ESV tells us we should “have” these qualities. Other modern translations use some combination of imperatives using “to be” verbs.
It seems helpful to think of these as being commands, but perhaps you are helped to think of nurturing or pursuing these qualities.
It appears that Peter is giving these to us in a chiasm, a literary structure to highlight what is central.
unity of mind
— sympathy
— — brotherly love
— a tender heart (compassion)
a humble mind
We’ll briefly look at all five of these attitudes and feelings, but first let’s notice that the first and last have to do with our position or posture toward others. The 2nd and 4th have to do with our feelings or emotions toward others. The middle (brotherly love) is what is central and involves our affections and our actions.
Literally, “one mind.” Paul gives similar commands in Romans 12 and Philippians 2.
Romans 12:16 — Live in harmony with one another…
Philippians 2:2 — complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind.
It is unhelpful, and I think incorrect, to take these verses to mean that all Christians should think the same thing about everything. Certainly, we are to measure our thoughts and beliefs by scripture, but this is not an appeal to doctrinal uniformity or some kind of group think or lack of critical thinking or freedom of conscience.
Rather, this means we should be aiming at the same goal, pursuing the same end, and unified in our faith in Jesus Christ and the word of God. It means that at times our personal preferences must be discarded for the good of the church.
We live in a profoundly individualistic and divisive time where our unique beliefs, preferences, and choices are treated as the highest measure of orthodoxy, and to be highlighted and protected at the expense of unity and harmony within the church.
Peter points us to a different starting point—to the unity of mind that we should have in Christ. We all think that we could have this unity of mind, if everyone would just agree with us!
It’s helpful to pair “unity of mind” with having “a humble mind.” The idea is willingly placing yourself in a lower position than others and choosing not to defend your own honor.
Paul’s exhortation in Romans 12:16 is helpful here.
Romans 12:16 (ESV) — … Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight.
Humility is not being self-deprecating, but self-forgetful in the service of others.
Sympathy is a call to relate to others with understanding. It’s considering how they feel in their circumstances. It means being affected by what is affecting them. It is rejoicing with those who rejoice, and weeping with those who weep. Sympathy is not cold or calculating, it is warm and responsive. It requires entering into someone’s circumstances and possibly their pain.
Sympathy is not a checkbox on a task list for helping people. It will likely require time and presence, and cost you something emotionally.
Though you may not have ever experienced the same trial or joy, you are called by God here to do your best to pursue sympathy for the individual.
Peter also calls us to have a tender heart, or as other translations say, to be compassionate. This is such a great word because it is so NOT an English idiom. The Greek (εὔσπλαγχνος) literally means have “healthy intestines” toward the person. Maybe we would say have “warm feelings.” It speaks to a tenderness and sensitivity toward others.
Ephesians 4:32 (ESV) — Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
This tenderhearted response toward others is rooted in the fact that we have already experienced the unmerited forgiveness of our sins (Schreiner, p. 163).
The point—especially for those of us who may take pride in being logical or unemotional—is that Peter and Paul are calling us to not merely relate to others with theological precision and logical reasoning, but with a tender, compassionate heart.
Consider a few examples:
Brotherly love is not always a convenient love. We often focus on the “love” aspect of brotherly love. This love should manifest itself in affections and actions. It is doing good to another—but not merely in a cold, calculating way. Remember, this is sandwiched between sympathy and a tender heart.
Also, don’t miss that this is “brotherly” love. It is a family love. It’s not a romantic love, neither is it a generic love toward just anyone. Peter is calling us to love those in the faith as brothers. This isn’t just the love of a companion. It’s sacrificing to serve affectionately those who are my brothers and sisters in Christ. We are not merely friends; we are related by blood—by the blood of Christ.
Love as brothers. Like these other graces, brotherly love is specifically Christian. It is not simply a sense of comradeship, but the knowledge that we have been given new birth. We are children of the heavenly Father and therefore brothers and sisters in Christ.
- Edmund P. Clowney, The Bible Speaks Today, 138.
Peter is exhorting us to develop and nurture these five qualities now. You must not wait until you are in a trial or conflict to decide to pursue them.
It is never too early to practice them. None of us has arrived. Look for opportunities to nurture them.
Some tips:
Step one complete: We must nurture these five qualities in our pursuit of the good life. The next step could be a bit more challenging.
1 Peter 3:9–11 (ESV)
We have turned the corner from merely preparing for difficulties to being in the midst of a difficult situation. We have all found ourselves in this situation many times. It is a part of our fallen world, and we expect it to be a reality in our relationships until Jesus returns. Though we would like to think this kind of conflict only occurs between Christians and non-Christians, that’s just not the case.
I found the word picture from Karen Jobes in her commentary to be so helpful in describing this tendency.
Acting rightly toward one’s adversaries is defined in 1 Pet. 3:9 as not responding in kind to their insults, slander, and evil intents. It means having the inner fortitude to break the cycle of evil that spirals ever downward.
- Karen H. Jobes, Baker Exegetical Commentary, 218.
This “cycle of evil that spirals ever downward” is so descriptive of how so many of our interpersonal relationships can go.
These are the kinds of situations that lead us to believe that we cannot love life and experience good days unless our situation or the other person changes. But, this is just where Peter redirects us and tells us what to do.
It’s almost shocking how unsurprised Peter is that these situations happen. He doesn’t spend a whole lot of time scolding them for what’s going on. Instead he gives very practical, difficult instructions. STOP IT!
Well, he says more than that, but he does say that. “Don’t repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling.” Don’t respond in kind. Break the cycle. Put into practice the character you have been building from verse 8. I realize you want to respond in kind; I know you feel you have the right to respond in kind. Don’t.
I appreciate the reality of some of the quote from David in Psalm 34 here in verses 10-11.
Look at these three phrases:
All three of these indicate that our bent is to do these things. Our natural tendency is to speak evil and deceit and to do evil deeds. It feels right to speak and act in an evil way in this situation. What feels right in this moment is NOT right. You want to defend your honor. You want to criticize in return. It feels justifiable to continue to escalate the rhetoric.
When David writes these words, he is on the run, fleeing from King Saul who is trying to kill him unjustly. King Saul is slandering David’s name, throwing spears at him, and pursuing him. David refuses to respond in kind. He refuses to lift his hand against God’s anointed King. He ends up fleeing to the camp of the Philistines and then to the cave of Adullam.
If you can do this much, you can keep situations from continuing to escalate. However, God is calling us to more than mere conflict resolution.
To continue our quote from Karen Jobes:
But as if nonretaliation were not hard enough, the Christian is to respond to evil and insult with blessing!
- Karen H. Jobes, Baker Exegetical Commentary, 218.
Peter does not stop with commanding us not to respond in kind. This is often where we stop. We feel like we have the high ground because we didn’t slander back or because we didn’t fight back.
Look at the second half of verse 9 again.
1 Peter 3:9–11 (ESV)
In so many situations of relational conflict, I often hear things like, “I’ll just forget about her” or “I don’t feel anything toward him anymore. I just need to act like he doesn’t exist.” Because of hurt or pain or disagreement in the relationship, we often just want to move on. But Peter presses us beyond this. It is not enough to merely stop doing evil or speaking insults.
What do we mean by blessing? It is not just saying good things to a person or about a person. Blessing means asking God to pour out his goodness and grace on the person that has done evil against you (Schreiner, p. 165). You pray for God’s blessing on them, that God would show mercy; that God would do them good.
Peter goes on to say that this is what you are called to do. Some commentators link that phrase “to this you were called” with what follows it, “that you may obtain a blessing.” However, I find it more compelling to see “to this you were called” as referring to blessing those who persecute you.
This follows Peter’s logic from 1 Pet 2:20-21.
1 Peter 2:20–21 (ESV) — …But if when you do good and suffer for it you endure, this is a gracious thing in the sight of God. For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps.
Blessing those who injure us through word and deed requires a great deal of faith. But, Jesus is our model. He has both shown us how, and blessed us when we reviled him through our words and deeds.
Christians are free from vindictiveness because they trust God’s justice; but they are free for blessing because they know God’s goodness.
- Edmund P. Clowney, The Bible Speaks Today, 141.
Practically, it is difficult to stay bitter and unforgiving toward a person if we are praying for them—that God would show them good. This requires that we remember what God has done for us when we didn’t deserve it.
Peter turns to Psalm 34 to help us grasp his point. Here, David doesn’t say to bless, he encourages them in a slightly different way.
Not only are we to bless those who do evil toward us in word or deed, we are to do good and seek peace.
Again we are in the quote from Psalm 34
David presses us beyond praying or merely speaking words. He encourages us to actively do good to the person. Do an act of kindness with no expectation that it will be returned.
One example I heard about was a Christian soldier who regularly received ridicule and insults for being a Christian. One night in the barracks, another soldier threw his nasty, muddy boots at the Christian while they were in their bunks. In the morning, that soldier found his boots cleaned, polished, and ready for inspection at the foot of his bunk.
David also instructs us to seek peace and pursue it. If this were natural or easy, we would not have to be told. The ball is in your court, irregardless of who started the argument. Don’t wait for the other person to move toward you. Take initiative. Remember all of the character qualities that we talked about earlier. Have unity of mind, nurture sympathy and compassion toward them. Be humble.
It’s helpful that David tells us not only to seek peace, but to pursue it. There is a built-in recognition that this can be difficult and elusive. This is our experience, isn’t it. We work up enough courage to move toward the person that insulted us, and they just do it again, or we blow it up again in an argument. Pursue it. Chase after it with grace, humility, and patience.
I do want to pause for a second and clarify that, though this path that I’m describing is wise in a great majority of situations, there are situations where more wisdom and help are needed. In cases involving abuse, we are not asking the victim to continue subjecting himself or herself to additional injury. There are times to remove oneself from a situation or relationship with the help of others. There are times to involve law enforcement because laws are being broken, or to involve counselors and pastors to help you navigate the situation. This does not mean it’s okay to repay evil for evil or insult for insult, but it does mean more help could be needed to avoid additional injury or trauma. These are difficult and complicated situations, and we should have sympathy and compassion on those that find themselves in this place.
This leads us to our final point.
1 Peter 3:12 (ESV)
I’m don’t know about you, but my natural response to the fact that God is watching me is to imagine him watching every move, waiting on me to sin or make a mistake. Sometimes, we may even tell our kids, “even when mommy and daddy don’t see you, God is watching.” We tell them this as a deterrent from secret, hidden sins.
But, David (and Peter) are not merely using this truth as a deterrent but as help! God is compassionate and sympathetic toward our weakness. He sees our situation. He observes our pain. His eyes are on us for our good. His ears are open to our prayer. He is eager to hear and to help.
Don’t get overly sensitive to his eyes being “on the righteous.” God isn’t saying he only helps the perfect or sinless. His eye is on the one that comes to him in faith and repentance. In Psalm 34, David goes on to say:
Psalm 34:18 (ESV) — The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.
It is so difficult in these moments of brokenness or being crushed to remember that God sees and knows, and that he is ready to help us. John Calvin captures this point well.
And that we for little reason raise a clamour, that we suddenly kindle unto wrath, that we burn with the passion of revenge, all this, doubtless, happens, because we do not consider that God cares for us, and because we do not acquiesce in his aid.
- John Calvin, Commentaries on the Catholic Epistles, 105.
There is one very significant question we must ask at this point. What is the blessing that is promised in this passage. Is there a promise that if we do these things we can guarantee a happy life on this side of eternity?
There is a promise here that if we nurture these attitudes and actions that we will receive a blessing. The word is actually, that we would “inherit” a blessing. This may not be what you want to hear, but God doesn’t promise here that we will escape the trials, or that your faithful attempts at doing good and pursuing peace will be successful in this life. However, he does promise that we will ultimately receive a blessing. We will ultimately receive deliverance and reward. To quote Peter from a little later…
1 Peter 4:12 (ESV) — Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you.
Or we could turn to a verse a little later in Psalm 34 to quote David.
Psalm 34:19 (ESV) — Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the LORD delivers him out of them all.
This deliverance may come in this life, but is guaranteed in the next. I do think we have reason to believe there is also blessing in this life, and not all held to the next.
It is likely that you will experience God’s blessing in this life as you nurture these attitudes, exit the downward spiral of evil and insult, and remember that God’s eyes and ears are toward you. We may not escape the trials or difficulties, but we will experience the blessing of God’s favor and a clear conscience. It is also very likely that God will use your faith to bring transformative change to your relationships.
Peter is presenting us with a high calling. And, if you are in the middle of a trial, it may feel impossible, but do not lose heart. God often accomplishes amazing things when we step out in faith to put his words into practice.
Matthew 5:43–45 (ESV) — “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven.
What are we to do if we have a long history of blowing it in our relational conflicts and situations? What are we to do if we’ve not been following Peter’s exhortation. Is it possible to change? How?
We started today talking about King David and how he was persecuted and pursued unjustly.
This King also was anointed by God. It was obvious from a young age that God was with him. God accomplished great things through this King’s deeds. God spoke great things through this King’s words. This King also experienced great suffering. He was betrayed by those close to him. He was beaten unjustly. He was killed for a crime he did not commit.
1 Peter 2:23–25 (ESV) — When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly. He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed. For you were straying like sheep, but have now returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls.
This King Jesus died in our place to remove the penalty and punishment for our sins. He died for us that we might live to righteousness. Go to him this morning to find mercy and help in time of need.
The prayer team is ready to pray with you.
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